Tent Misanderstandings
by Alo From 1998
Summary: Germany goes against his logical senses and decides to be mischievous during a G8 5 camping meeting. He finally gets the opportunity to get blackmail material as a way keep Romano in check. However, to Germany's demise, things don't go as planned and drunken Mexico and Prussia happen to see interesting things. This story was based on an Austin Powers Clip.


It was that time of the year again in which the G8 + 5 (to Russia's delight) came together to talk about their problems. To avoid costly reparations, the bosses of their nations sent them camping, which in Germany's mind, wasn't a good idea. One of the main reasons for him to be worried was that Germany was stuck with Romano and Prussia. Not that he didn't want Prussia, but Russia was in their group, and so the German had a feeling he would receive no sleep. Romano would try to pick fights with the German and make his younger brother cry.

The fifteen nations decided to have a bonfire, but the German decided he had enough of people's stupidity and Italy wasn't causing trouble, so he decided to get a head start on sleep. Once he arrived at his particular tent, there was beautiful singing with the smell of pasta. Romano was singing one of those romantic ballads Mexico would talk about during meetings.

Germany felt that he should go back to the bonfire, but he decided that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Thus, he grabbed his phone and pulled his camera out.

 _Te Quiero Demasiado Para  
Olvidarte en unas horas  
Porque me haces daño  
Por que me dejas  
Que no me ves muriendo  
Mi alma se acaba  
Y no puedo vivir sin calma_

While singing those lyrics, Romano had a spoon in place for a microphone while swaying the pan of pasta dangerously to his own rhythm. Germany could see that from the shadow of the tent, and despite having impeccable logic, curiosity and mischief filled his head, and so he sneaked in the tent. He crawled and hid behind a huge luggage bag that Italy had packed. Germany made himself comfortable and placed his phone in good recording position. Romano was as casual as his little brother wearing a black collar shirt and slacks with classy shoes. It was a sign that he had not changed since he is gotten there. Germany noticed a well-painted portrait of himself with many holes deep within the canvas. " _Romano sure must really hate me."_

 _Pero no, no te vayas  
No me dejes sin tu amor  
Necesito sentir de nuevo  
El fuego de tu pasión  
Pero no, no te vayas  
No seas cruel con mi corazón  
Pero no, no te vayas  
No me dejes un triste adiós  
Eres lo que amo  
Y no acepto que te vayas  
Me pierdo en la marea  
Y mis lagrimas se acaban_

Romano finished his song and whispered under his breath, "If Spain saw me right now I would die." The southern Italian set his pan on a nearby table and threw one last knife at the portrait of Germany. _If Romano continues his behavior, this might show him._

Romano continued to do some other weird romantic performance, and this time he danced (with a bowl of pasta this time) to his voice. Germany's heart dropped as Romano blindly ended up in his hiding place, and without warning the Italian tripped causing a shriek from Germany and curses for Romano.

"BASTARDO! MY PASTA!"

"MEIN PHONE!"

.

.

.

.

A few hundred yards away two nations had smuggled "illegal" beer into their camping bags.

"I am so glad you are part of this. I can't imagine being without beer this time. Especially with Russia," said a buzzed Prussia.

"Beer makes us awesome, so why make us suffer," asked Mexico almost already gone.

Both nations burst into laughter until Mexico shook Prussia back to his senses.

Prussia frowned at his new drinking companion, "what is it, bro?"

"I think I heard el cucuy," Mexico said mischievously.

Prussia's eyes widened as he heard the most horrid shrieks ever.

"You know, we should check it out. We could be heroes," said Prussia.

"Si. Let's go."

And so the two new friends walked over to the tent in which Prussia was to sleep. They still had beers in hand and didn't think clearly of what they saw.

"Is that Alemania on all fours and Italy on top of him?"

"Kesesese, yes! How long have they been at it?"

Mexico smacked Prussia in the head, "how should I know?"

Before Prussia could say anymore, Romano spoke in curses, "I don't want to know what you have packed in there damn bastard!"

Mexico and Prussia gave each other weird looks and decided to get closer. _It was not Italy._

Romano was now squatting looking at what seemed to be Germany's rear. He then scoots back and reached his hand in there.

"Was zum Teufel," Prussia whispered.

Romano then pulled out a sort of string out from _there_ _ **,**_ and to both nations disgust, there were a good two meters. Romano seemed to be having trouble, so he stood up and pulled with no reaction from the German whom was for some odd reason scraping the floor.

"My poor ego! West is the bottom," Prussia whimpered as he tried to make sure that he saw well.

Mexico didn't respond in words and only made a shaky grunt sound.

When Romano finally pulled out the rope he sighed clearly frustrated, "why the hell would you want a rope?"

"It is for safety you dummkopf. Keep looking! We need to finish before anyone gets here," Germany responded angrily.

Mexico raised his hands and extended it expressing that it was physically impossible to fit a rope in there. "What else does he have in there?"

Prussia felt that his nose bleed was coming, "let's just figure it out."

So they both decided to keep on looking while holding on to their beers for dear life.

Romano proceeded to reach back in there to only have a very high wave of smoke coming to his face.

"Ugh, why does this have to happen to me! It smells terrible," Romano shrieked followed by a coughing fit.

"Italy must have put it in there; he can be careless sometimes! Now continue we don't have much time left!"

"Ummm," Prussia started.

"Alemania is such a stud," Mexico said.

Prussia could only nod in agreement and proceeded to drink more beer. As he drunk, Romano pulled out an umbrella which made the albino spit out his beer.

"Que Diablos!"

"Put that back in, even if I don't believe in such things, I wouldn't want an umbrella open inside this tent. Hurry up; I am almost done with my part" Germany said.

"Fine, you are a hypocrite. I am sure you know that. Hopefully, I don't destroy anything in there. I don't want my baby brother to be crying all night!"

Mexico shook his head in horror, "Dios mio! He is going to put it back in!"

Romano then forced the Umbrella back up there with no reaction from Germany whatsoever.

"I can't believe West is extreme! He takes it from both Italians. Why wasn't I in on this?"

They both continued watching curiously of what Germany was capable of holding within his body.

"Aghh! Damn you! It's a fucking mouse!"

Prussia then covered his mouth, he was already starting to feel that this was a little too much for him. Mexico looked at his companion in horror, "did he say mouse?"

Germany looked at Romano already losing his temper. "Just stop complaining will you. I don't know how that got in there, but throw it out!"

Romano threw the dead mouse from a hole in the tent that unfortunately landed on Prussia. He shrieked as he handed that smelly dead mouse over to Mexico who frantically threw it at the trees. To their waste of sanity, Romano was not done, as he pulled a gladiator sword out. Mexico and Prussia were now paralyzed with no words and nowhere to go.

"This is too much," Mexico whimpered.

"Ja… I can't take it…"

However, the two nations couldn't move and were curious to see what Romano would do with the gladiator sword. They couldn't help each other but shake their heads in disgust hoping it was a nightmare.

"That's interesting," Romano started as his voice noticeably turned soft. "why do you have this gladiator sword with you?"

Germany looked up from the floor. "What gladiator?"

The German then looked back and seemed terrified, "no! You can't touch that; it has weird components! PUT IT BACK IN! PUT IT BACK IN!"

Mexico waved his hand as to tell them _don't do it_ as if they heard him. Prussia was just clinging on to Mexico shaking his head trying to shut his eyes, but at the same time too curious.

Romano then proceeded that deed and in a sinister was he said, "if you say so potato bastard."

Romano shoved the gladiator in with all his might that made Germany scream and curse.

Meanwhile, Mexico and Prussia were already shrieking feeling absolute pain. They couldn't watch anymore, but then again they were curious of how much more of a masochist Germany could be.

"Watch it," Germany growled.

Romano just chuckled in response. "I can't find it."

"Keep looking."

He then spread what seemed Germany's rear from two ends with a flashlight in hand and stuck his head _in there_ much to two spectators disgust.

"SHEISSE THAT BURNED!"

"It's about time, I found it!" Romano said pulling up some spray and a pair of gloves."

"Thank Gott; we can finally clean up this smell!"

Mexico and Prussia looked at each other in disbelief, and in unison, they said, "Let's get the hell out of here!"


End file.
